I didn`t become a loner tell my late 20`s.
For those who haven`t reached your late 20`s just hold onto your arm rest it`ll hit you faster then your favorite spanx.
It`s not tell now I realize years of peopling can ware you down spiritually. I truly always wanted to be the "happy go lucky" I expressed in my younger years of being.
Now it`s less of trying to achieve happiness to achieving healing and freedom. Although my personality still embraces the "happy go lucky" persona. I realized it`s not what life is all about.
How to become a loner ?
Years of trying to impress my managers and friends and peers and first impressions got old. Especially when you realize they don`t give a damn about you. The moment you put in your two weeks there looking to replace and decompose you same goes with anyone else who claim`s to show you interest. With that being said I figured "why waste my energy and time trying to prove and display something I know I am"?
When I discovered that I started walking to the beat of my own drum. Following after attending so many over stimulated annoying gatherings and unwanted interactions and environments I`d find where I felt safest ...thats was being alone.
The same energy I put in showing up for others I start doing for myself only to realize I had been neglecting myself for so long . The person I was craving from my friends and peers was me. Not to boost myself but I`m a hell of a good person. So I started by treating others how they did me. After realizing I'd find myself coming to see people who wouldn`t come see about me, unless I come to them so byee!
This was important to me because if you care about me you'd want to see it for yourself texting someone is bare minimum. As a friend I want to give you a hug check on your living conditions make sure you in a safe healthy environment and if I was getting to know you I would want to see that to know more about you . I wasn't getting that kind of love/care from the ones I desired it from. That hurts!
This showed me who really care about me. Since those friends and so called sisters wasn`t pouring into me equally. I backed off, now I had myself physically to fall back on. For the most part to trust and spend time with. From then I started taking myself out and or spend time working on my goals. Learning more about myself, this wasn`t always a good feeling. I went through trials of depression and loneliness while doing self discovery. Yes this positive "happy go lucky" girl was DE-PRESSED!
I never knew I`d hit that low in my life tell I looked up and realized I was 40+ pounds bigger and sadder than I've ever been.
How I was treating myself and how I felt showed and it`s like no one cared to say anything.
Moral of the story I became a loner due to realizing I rather be ALONE then to have sisters/friends and feel alone. I will pour into myself. Eventually I'l meet like-minded individuals' who are good friends and tribal minded. Tell then I have to do my part in becoming what I want to attract.
If your reading this don`t settle for bare minimum in any and all relationships in your life If the person just text you but you go out your way to see about them don`t waste your time sis or bro!
Use this time to be your own friend and draw closer to TMH and only try pleasing him.
Is the Loner Lonely ?
I haven`t always been a loner. Like I said this just started(lated 20`s). Growing up I always had the bestest of best friends and huge slumber parties and house parties. Maybe that`s why I am so over that lifestyle now. I use to want to stay with my friend tell we both got married. Then we`d move out, just to have house`s around the corner from each other! I can`t deny I still long for a friend like that, I also long for a community of like minded individuals but the years of trying and dealing with traumatized behaviors has caused me to do what my abandonment style runs to. Flight and just do it alone .
Being in solitude is ok, there is a season for everything but solitude in the aspect of being alone should not be the goal . For it is not good for man to be alone.
So yes the loner is lonely.
By choice, because she is convinced this is a season that solitude in order is needed for elevation to transpire. she will not settle for anything other than what's rightfully to her soul.
Here are some helpful scriptures about loneliness :
Genesis 2:18
And the lord Yah said, it is not good that the man should be alone ; I will make him an help meet for him.