Hi I`m the gorgeous Kumarie and I am a toxic giver.
THE GIVER REALITY
Have you ever gifted someone something and shortly after felt a overwhelm of regret?
This became my normal, from making personal sacrifices that caused me a great deal of financial burden to gifting out of impulse and liability. It's all a TOXIC way to give .
If you love to help specifically love to give, you my friend are what society calls "generous". A Generous person shows readiness to give more of something, as money or time, than is strictly necessary or expected. Some people I found I give alot to and harley receive a give back not like Im a tic for tac person but I'm definitely taking notes on actions.
I notice that the most needy people are the ones who harley give(giving to people in your household doesn`t count). An wonder why the willingness for people to give to them freely is close to none. This is because they dont pour harley back. "Thank you`s" are always appreciated but can get old really quick if there not back behind a return. I truly believe if you take care of people who take care of you both are fulfilled .
So if your a person who ask a person for favors and there Johnny on the spot you need to make sure the next time you got a little extra to get them something.
This will allow them to feel they are personally appreciated and thought of. When people feel appreciated they WANT to do more . This is how you keep the giving going.
2 Corinthians 9: 6-7, 11 – Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for Yah(God) loves a cheerful giver. … You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to Yah.
Good reliable people who are genuine are hard to come by in these last days so dont burn them OUT!
example:
Studies have found the most happy employees who stay longer at the job say because "they feel appreciated and taken care of ".
"I Don`t mind"
Sometimes you`ll hear people say "oh i don`t mind" but please don`t think it doesn`t because after a few times it does . This is uncomfortable to discuss with most people because this can come across as you being a "tic for tac" person.
After so many times of someone doing a favor consideration needs to be kicked in and something needs to be given. The person may not say it but it definitely ware's out a person's generosity.
After time the emotion of neglect and taken advantage of can arise. This is where the analogy "NOTHING IN LIFE IS FREE" comes into play because nothing is. This is because we are creatures of habit and people should be treated like investments the more you put in the more you get out.
If you put a little in don't expect a good return.
If anyone tells you they don`t mind giving and not receiving at all is LYING !
How to rightfully give
I recently learned my giving was toxic after realizing some of the people I kept giving to suddenly felt draining to do for. I`d sacrifice things like money , time , energy and felt drained afterwards and in some cases with the short end of the stick.
which lead me to the connection I was giving out of liability.
So you may be thinking hmmm "liability"?
Yes! When you boil the word liability down it`s a a synonym for responsibility.
I took on the responsibility of believing in order to prove or express my love and appreciation for others I have to give my all.
This is how givers get tied up in the cycle of emptiness.
What I learned is if your a giver like me and want to give to the right people and give with the reward of satisfaction of being a unselfish and charitable giver you have to give with healthy intentions.
Moving forward be INTENTIONAL and be lead by the ruach(holy spirt) when it comes to giving.
This is rightfully.
Giving foolishly will have you feeling like ...
Shalom Family
sincerely ,
gk your writer